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June 21, 2012

Dear Baby,

I’ve been having this horrible recurring nightmare: I’m holding a baby and as I am, it gets smaller and smaller, until it fits in the palm of my hand. Then it stops breathing, and I poke it, and my finger goes right through.
It is a horrible nightmare, and I’ve been having it quite a lot.

So of course I’ve been nervous for our doctor’s visit today. But then when we had our Ultra sound, there you were, Triple the size you were before, with your little heart beating hard and perfect. You are exactly on track size wise from last time, which is a huge relief. I had almost convinced myself that you hadn’t grown at all, which is silly, because how would I know? As Daddy joked at Lunch “You’re not getting out of this that easy”

Your heartbeat was 179, To which Daddy said “wow!” the tech explained that it would slow down a little later, but that there was just so much going on in your body that it has to pump hard!
I have lost three more pounds from the morning sickness, but I’m sure we can gain it all back and then some before you come.

Dr. Burt is very pleased with how you’re coming along, and we talked a little about Birthing classes (He told us that from his impression of us, we would think the Bradley method classes were “Silly”) and how he doesn’t like to make birth plans. So the three of us decided that my birth plan would be this: At the End of January, I plan to give birth. I will try to do it as naturally as possible, but if he thought I needed pain management/intervention, I would be open to that. Daddy and I have decided that we will just trust the professionals, who after all, have done this more times then we have. I am very very confident that we have picked the right doctor to help you into the world.

So after the doctor (no blood work! yay!) Daddy and I had Lunch at McAllister’s Deli, where I had the most amazing Baked Potato. This is extra nice because I have not thrown up today!!! Isn’t that an odd thing to pat myself on the back for? Little things like that matter.

I ordered a pocket Diaper for you and it came in the mail yesterday. It’s terribly cute, and fuzzy! I really like having it in the house, because now I’ve got one to touch and snap and unsnap, it feels like a less scary concept, (Cloth diapering in particular, Baby having in General)

I also showed Dr. Burt the anti nausea melts I got from “Dr Dan” as soon as he saw they were from Trinity Pharmacy, he said they were fine “Dr Dan is famous around these parts” I think I detected a little glint of Rivalry, but I may have just imagined it.

So when we got home I was looking at the ultra sound pictures, and felt a little bummed. Watching the video screen and seeing your heart flutter is so much more satisfying than the pictures, especially since in them…well you mostly just look like the Bat Signal.

Daddy and I have been tossing around middle names for a first name of “James”…do you like that?

I’m 3/4 of the way done with your first homemade clothing item (A crocheted Sleep sack) even if it doesn’t fit for long (or at all) I feel like it’s given me something to focus on, and feed my anxiety into. I hope that doesn’t make it so you can’t sleep in it, with all my worries snarled into the yarn. But that is silly, isn’t it?


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One Comment
  1. Sara permalink

    My mom made a Crewel embroidery picture of animals all in a tree when she was pregnant with me and I still have it! Make lots of things to give Jabigail (king of the wild frontier).

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