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Other kids, and why you don’t have that many things yet.

July 7, 2012

Dear Baby,

I have become hyper aware of Babies in public places. I have never been one to ooh and ahh over stranger’s babies, but now I find myself watching them like a hawk. What are they wearing? Do they look comfortable? Why is that one screaming? its like I’m assuring myself that its possible to take a baby out of your house and still function like a normal person. I also (guiltily) find myself judging moms with babies who aren’t wearing enough clothes, but then its summer and dreadfully hot so I don’t feel really justified.

I’m also critiquing the behavior of small children. For instance; we were strolling through Michaels a few days ago and heard this…I can’t really describe it in text but it was this atonal “eeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh” I turned the corner, and there was this 3 year old strapped into a cart, making this noise over and over, apparently expressing his displeasure or boredom. the man with him (presumably his father) just…ignored him. Now, I’ll admit that I am sensitive to repetitive noises. (and your dad is very very good at making them) But really? You can’t take this opportunity to level with the kid, and say “I understand that you’re bored, and as soon as I’m finished we’ll go, but in the mean time I need you to use words or shut up” After we had checked out, as soon as we got back into the car I turned to Daddy and he put his hand up “Yes” he said “Our kid will never get away with acting like that” So glad we’re on the same page.

On the other hand, while I was wandering through the baby section of target, getting myself worked up (More on this later) there was a little girl and her mother, picking out a baby gift for someone else. Her mom had basically given her free reign on picking one of those blankets with the animal heads on them, and the little girl was trying to pick between two of them: a bear or a dog. “the doggie looks nice, like our dog Sammy is” She was telling her Mom. “but the bear is like in Brave, and that is good too” Mom explained to her that the baby hasn’t seen Brave, but he’ll probably meet Sammy, and it was up to her. So the girl bit her little lip and picked the Dog, telling her Mom “We’ll get this one, cuz you know, spoilers.”
and it gave me hope,
and joy
and tingles.
Because you CAN teach them to think for themselves and treat them like they can make their own choices.(and be conscientious about spoilers) It was such a simple easy thing: picking out a gift, and teaching a kid to be thoughtful, but it was the first time I’d left the baby section of ANYWHERE smiling and not Anxious and Freaked out.

Thats all baby sections do to me, by the way. I wander around, looking at things, wondering how I’m ever going to be able to make decisions about Breast pumps or clothes (I can barely dress myself, and now I’m in charge of another human?) and it all starts to blur together until I get very very anxious and have to leave the store. On one hand, I’m not buying a lot of stuff, but on the other, I don’t know how I’m going to pick stuff out for you if I start to hyperventilate everytime I walk into babies r us.

Your Tinker and I met up with Aunt Kathy in Denton, who assured me that I’d “mess up at some point” so I shouldn’t worry over it. I tried to explain to her how special you are, and she just smiled knowingly at me. She’ll understand when she meets you.



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One Comment
  1. Ashley permalink

    That is sweet!

    I do want to warn you that there will be times you do something you swore you’d never do. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Example: I swore I’d never let Will eat off a restaurant table. We always forget our table toppers and let him eat anyways.

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