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12 weeks

July 19, 2012

Dear Baby

Today was our 12 week appointment, and it didn’t come soon enough for me. it seems to be a pattern where I have an U/S, and for two weeks after I’m flying. I’m confident that everything is alright, and you’re growing, and everything is cool. Then about 2 weeks before we go back to the doctor, I become a nervous wreck. I manage to convince myself that everything is NOT cool, nor will it be again, and I get emotional and anxious, and I have to face the bathroom mirror and tell my refection that she’s being a gigantic nutjob.

they tell me its normal.

So we got to go the doctor’s today, and we had to wait a really really long time, because Dr. Burt was tending to an early delivery. I didn’t care, because while I was hungry and starting to get tired, I knew that we’d get to see you soon, and that I’d be able to shrug off all these gnawing doubts. Usually, We have the U/S first, and then they take us into a room to wait for he Doc. This time they took us right back to the exam room, and I tried to stay calm for the blood pressure cuff. I asked the nurse, if we were not getting an U/S this time and she said she’d check. then we waited a LONG long time for Dr Burt. He came in, told me that everything looked ok weight/blood pressure wise. (I still haven’t technically gained any weight. which is fine, I can afford to lose some and still have both of us be healthy)He encouraged me to go on Daddy’s trip to chicago with him. I asked him about the ultra sound, and he said they were trying to work me into the room. So we went back out to wait. and we waited. and waited. Finally we got back to the U/S room. For the first time they got to do a surface scan: you’re officially big enough to do that now. They warm the jelly there. I was expecting it to be cold, but it was warm and that kind of felt icky-er.
But there you were! looking like…well, a PERSON! I guess you had the hiccups, because you kept jumping a little, I can’t feel it yet, but we could see as clear as day. I think you have daddy’s nose. Also, you kept putting your hand toward your mouth, kind of the same motion one does when licking salt off ones hand while doing tequila shots. Then, you just turned over. You turned over and mooned us. “no more pictures paparazzi!”
You measured 12 weeks, 2 days. I think you’re just tall like my dad is. I’m glad about that, because I have suffered my entire adult life because I was short.
We still dont know if you’re a girl or a boy, but I have caught myself calling you he the majority of the time. I’ll catch myself and throw a “She or Her” in there, but I mostly just tell myself that classically, if one doesn’t know the correct gender, english defaults to the masculine.

I’m not showing yet, but my abdomen and belly are much firmer to the touch. I’m beginning to accept that with my build, no one will be able to tell I’m pregnant for a while yet.

I love you baby, and I’m so thankful that everything is coming along so well.
-Momma

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