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27 and a half weeks

November 5, 2012

Dear Baby

I am the worst about updating, and I feel like I left our loyal readers on a cliffhanger there!

Our anatomy scan:

a month  and a half ago we went in for another U/S, this time to check all your parts and make sure they were growing right, AND to see if we could determine what kind of “parts” you had! Before we went I drank a slushie from Sonic, hoping that between the sugar and the ice you’d move around a lot.  Apparently you’re as stubborn as your parents, because you kept your face buried in my hip the whole time. But you’re growing just right, and it turns out that you’re a boy!

When The Tech told me, I started crying. Knowing made it so much closer to being real. I am having a baby boy. I held your Daddy’s hand and I think he was a little overwhelmed. We didn’t care Which you were,  but knowing was very very precious to us. Then Dr. Burt came in and looked and said “Well thats DEFINITELY a boy” Apparently sometimes its hard to tell. I have the best picture of your very perfect spine, and a little hand waving, but none of your face.  That is ok though, I’ll have my whole life to look at your handsome face and it’ll be nice to have a surprise as to who you look like when we meet you!

Then we had a long time of going out a lot, My 10 year HS reunion, Maggie and Nick’s wedding, Grandpa came up and spent the weekend, and we picked a first name for you: James. We had discussed it, and thought that we’d tell people that we were 85% sure that we were going to name you that, so as to leave room in case another name tickled our fancy more. but then I started calling you James in my head, and grandpa started calling you James, and it just sort of stuck. Then I had a premonition: That when you got to MS/HS you would go by “Jamie”  I don’t know why I’m so sure about it, but I am.  We picked it, because both your Dad and I have had very special people in our lives named James, and its a solid and would be hard for people to misspell ( a problem I have to this very day)

By about 24 weeks, my Feet started to swell up on a regular basis. mostly just the left one, but Dr Burt doesn’t seem very concerned about it. so I’ve decided not to be either. By the next week I was able to take video of you kicking me, and my stomach bulging out a little.

My Dad and Mike and your uncles came up to visit, and we walked around Ikea, and ended up buying you a shelf for your room, a lamp, and some fabric drawers for the shelf. Daddy and I spent some time cleaning up your room this weekend, and next Saturday we’ll put the shelf together.  Daddy is getting used to kids hanging around him, but it was very funny when we were in Ikea. I sat down and Daddy sat beside me, and your uncle Jeremy decided to climb up and sit on David’s lap.  Daddy didn’t understand what he was doing “What?” he said “what are you doing, why are you climbing me?” It was really really funny!

And then Came the gestational diabetes test.

I failed. Both. Spectacularly.

So now I check my blood sugar a lot, and eat a very measured number of carbohydrates through out the day. I hate it, because after a couple of days of doing so I don’t feel like the numbers are good enough for the energy I’ve expelled trying to follow the program. I’m panicked at the thought of having to give myself shots of insulin everyday, and I’m trying desperately to do this by diet alone.  I am doing this for you, and for my own health but it feels very hard. I get frustrated when I do everything I’m supposed to do, and I still have crappy BS #. I don’t like feeling that I’m doing my best but I still can’t win.  I hate needles, and I was really hoping that we wouldn’t have to go through this, but, as you’ll hear me say over and over again in your life time “It is what it is”

I love you James, and I can’t wait to meet you in just 84 days!

Love,

Mama

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